Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Modest Proposal (A Message from the Fat Cats)

We here at Bad Craziness have been off the job for far too long folks.  With the upcoming film (principal photography begins in a week and a half so keep those eyes of yours peeled but firmly in their respective sockets!), the upcoming radio program in conjunction with our pals over at 88.7FM WRHU, our final steps towards a combination cure for the common cold/cold fusion, and a documentary piece to premier this summer, we've been rather busy behind the scenes here at Bad Craziness International Studios.  Since we're all about being so secretive it makes Dick Cheney looks open (like his various heart surgeries), all 3.6 billion employees here at Bad Craziness International Studios have been instructed by contracts to keep their mouths shut.  Whoever opens their mouths about our work here will be flogged, flambeed, marinated in a chipotle dressing courtesy of Bobby Flay, drawn and quartered, and fed to a pack of our very own genetically modified, carnivorous water buffaloes.  Don't think we're screwing around, just ask our very own employee James Franco (not the actor); wait... you can't!

We're currently working on a new project here at Bad Craziness International Studios to try to get back into the swing of things with ease.  We've been in the talks of making a short documentary piece on the making of our upcoming narrative film Waltz of the Eggs, but decided such incestuous nepotism was for Judd Apatow and the cast of the Brady Bunch.  Instead we're proposing to you, fair readers, an innovation in film criticism.  To often when people critique movies it's simply text by a pretentious elitist OR a sad, strange little man hunched over in front of a cheap webcam complaining that Zack Snyder wasn't involved in the film at all.  What if, fair readers, one were to combine the two forces?  Instead of keeping these two absolutely annoying forces separate, one would fuse them and make a cinematic force so positively wretched that people can't bear not watching it.  A pretentious elitist propagating their ideas in front of a cheap webcam!  Sounds pretty genius and futuristic right?  Well, we here at Bad Craziness International Studios feel that it is not at all a vision of the distant future, NO SIREE BOB!  We see this as the somewhat immediate future because it'll probably take about a week to put it up here on the Interne.  THE FUTURE IS HERE FOLKS!  THE FUTURE IS NOW!  THE FUTURE IS BAD CRAZINESS INTERNATIONAL STUDIOS!

That's about all we, the Management, have to say but we recommend (for fear of your own lives) you pay close attention to all the raw, extreme stuff that's gonna be flooding out of Bad Craziness over the next few weeks and months.  In the words of the great Jay-Z it will indeed be "cray". From all of us here at Bad Craziness International Studios, stay vigilant folks and as always!

~Viva amigos,
      ~Management