A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JIM JARMUSCH

Independent cinema would be nothing without Jim Jarmusch.  You know those movies, fair readers, that consist of indie hipsters talking about their problems with sparse, dry humor?  Jim Jarmusch was making fun of those movies before they even existed.  We here in the Bad Craziness Central Surveillance Department love this man, so we decided to stalk him as he went about his daily routine.

Jarmusch is notorious for being quite the aloof character.  He always outsmarts the media how ever he can.  All of us in the B.C.C.S.D. were thoroughly convinced that we could get a shot of him doing Jim Jarmusch-type things (we even had a handwritten copy of his daily routine that we fished from his trash), but alas we were not so fortunate.  This slippery Ohioan escaped our photographic clutches, but we will be at it again one day, especially since we know EXACTLY what he does throughout the course of his day.

Here is a slideshow of the pictures our crack team of photographers took just missing  Mr. Jarmusch:

Slide #1:   In this one, we caught Mr. Jarmusch en route to Penn Station.  We heard that he needed to see one of his many mistresses in Memphis that he met while filming Mystery Train back in '89.  The Bad Craziness Tech Crew attempted to use our patented PigeonCam (hence the bird in the picture), but it malfunctioned.  Okay, to be honest, mano y mano here, we strapped a camera onto a random pigeon and it fell off.


Slide #2:   This one was taken by our one and only man on the street, Caveman Jack.  Jack is usually quite the spy when it comes to stealing pictures of celebrities.  He's dressed up as a homeless person, a hobo, a bum.  Okay, in all seriousness this is some homeless guy that we gave a camera and he ended up taking a picture of Jim Jarmusch's feet.  He was quite delusional and we're surprised that he even knew how to pick the thing up.


Slide #3:   This one is my personal favorite because it's the closest we actually got to seeing Jarmusch.  This is a picture of the parking garage on the Lower East Side where Jim has kept his car for the past 23 years.  He yelled that to us from beyond the way and told us to keep back or he'd "call up the dogs".  We weren't sure if he was serious, but we weren't gonna chance that.


Slide #4:   This is one of two actual photos of Jim Jarmusch that we were able to land.  Shelletivka Bramrofsky, one of our many former-KGB agents here at Bad Craziness, took this picture with our patented BackpackCam using the mirror thing you can find on ceilings in most malls.  This was taken while Jarmusch was going for his weekly pedi in Jersey City.


Slide #5:   This is the other photo of Jarmusch that we got.  People know Jim Jarmusch by his iconic pompadour style haircut (of which everyone here at Bad Craziness has) but in this photo, our crack field reporter, Woody Bernstein, was able to get a rare photo of Jarmusch before unleashes the beast.  He woke up on the sidewalk, in his un-pompadoured glory, after a night of heavy drinking with the RZA, Bill Murray, and Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello.


Slide #6:   This is the final photo and ironically the first one taken of Jarmusch's apartment on the Lower East Side.  He set booby traps for people who attempt to take pictures of his apartment (whether they be stalkers or journalists) and this is one of those "mid-booby-trap" kind of photos.  One of our men in the field, Cary Grant (of no relation to the actor; believe me, we do blood tests), snapped this one right before he fell into the manhole.

Perhaps we'll get him when we work the Tribecca Film Festival this year!  Keep your fingers crossed fair readers, keep your fingers crossed!  Happy Monday hombres and as always,


~Viva amigos,
      ~D. Merrick


DISCLAIMER:  We here at Bad Craziness International were not stalking Jim Jarmusch.  This is for a project one of our younger employees had to complete.  We said we'd help him out, but we don't like him very much so we didn't try to hard for him.  In fact, we're sacking him using this blog.  Sorry Jim, better luck at your next job!


~Sincerely,
      ~Bad Craziness Cen. Mgmt. Dept.